


In a Movie for Us

by y_oona



Series: Our Playlist on Shuffle [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Affairs, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-07 02:15:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13424580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/y_oona/pseuds/y_oona
Summary: Because even if he doesn't mean it, even if Jeonghan is numb from head to toe; the show must go on.Based off of Sunmi's 'Heroine'





	In a Movie for Us

**Author's Note:**

> This was a spur of the moment fic
> 
>  
> 
> [Listen while reading](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4qfN5UeFvQ)

It’s a bit surreal how time stops sometimes. How even though everything is moving at normal speed, everything around him just seemed to freeze in place.

Jeonghan hurls his body out of bed, head jerking to the side from the force. His body still consumed by exhaustion and the hangover from last night’s endeavors. Does he regret it? Not at all. Because that’s when he feels the most.

Because right now, as the cold water hits his body, he feels absolutely nothing. He’s void of emotions and feeling. As if every nerve in his body shut down from the lack of stimulus. So, he wonders; how does it feel right now? How should he feel right now?

Even when the world stilled for him, everything just kept spinning. Was it because of the hangover? Or was it because he knew it wouldn’t last?

Walking out of his bathroom, fully changed, he felt the life seep back into him. The feeling pricked him in his eyes, flowing through his body. The coldness of the shower catching up to him, finally feeling the goosebumps spreading from his neck down his spine to his arms. But Jeonghan didn’t feel warmth until he collided with another body. It’s the type of warmth someone can’t get from the thickest of sweaters.

Seungcheol’s hand ran through the brunet’s hair, pressing them as close as possible. In a way, they were like magnets. Drawn to each other when they are face to face. When they're on the same side. Even though everything was pulling them apart.

The younger couldn’t let go; he knew once they separate, they’ll be on different sides of the magnet. If one goes close, the other will just drift further away. That's how it's going to be from now on.

Grasping and clawing at the back of Seungcheol’s shirt, he held on to him knowing he’s going to have to push him away.  There was just no way around it.

The first words spoken are always the saddest between them recently. “I have to go.”

Seungcheol’s voice is barely audible, but it strikes every cord in Jeonghan’s body to the point of numbness once more.

“I know.”

“I wish I didn’t have to.”

It drove him insane. Looking into his eyes one last time before the older turned for the door, he had to turn his back as well. Watching him leave was the equivalent to drowning himself. Whatever pain he was in, he knew there was no amount of morphine that could compete with the numbness he had succumbed to.

The premiere of his movie was tomorrow so his friends had decided it was time to celebrate. Even if he wasn’t up for it, they all thought he deserved it. So, all of his friends piled into his Seoul penthouse overlooking the Han River last night. A top-notch actor deserves a top-notch living space.

His best friends, Jisoo and Wonwoo, were concerned about him. They were some of the few who knew about his relationship with Seungcheol.

It started two years ago where they met after a recording of ‘Happy Together’ and instantly became friends. Their friendship took the media by storm, as it was the perfect visual friendship. Seungcheol was more of a drama actor while Jeonghan’s comfort zone was the big screen.

He didn’t mean to fall in love. And sometimes, he’d like to think Seungcheol always loved him too, he knows he did. But what they did was immoral. Looked down upon, especially since Seungcheol was already involved with another actress.

Life was easy to move around. It was easy for them to avoid their commitments and the media. But it wasn’t until this past year where it got much harder.

His movie consisted of a brother sister duo who were trying to do everything they could to survive. The leading actress happened to be Im Nayoung. Choi Seungcheol’s long-time girlfriend.

Sneaking around grew harder and harder for both. They still did, until a couple of months after filming was a wrap when Dispatch released photos of Seungcheol, walking into Jeonghan’s trailer at midnight and not Nayoung’s.

The protagonists of the big and small screen were now put on blast with rumors flying around their heads nonstop. The perfect romance movie they had created around themselves have unraveled right in front of them. In the end of the day, he knew whose fault it was; it was surely not Seungcheol’s, for he is the real hero in everything.

So, he allowed Seungcheol to say what he needed to say in order to save both their careers.

He remembers watching on the flat screen, alone in his living room, a brief interview Seungcheol had with a couple of reporters at Incheon airport.

“These rumors are downright malicious and untrue. I’d like to apologize to Nayoung for being hurt in this catastrophe, and apologize to Jeonghan.” The man adjusted his sunglasses looking from camera to camera, “I could never look at him in that light, in terms of loving him like that, there is just no possible way, and for someone to manipulate our friendship like that, it’s insulting.”

“Do you think he would actually have feelings for you?”

“If he did, it’d be a lost cause. But I’m positive he doesn’t.”

Jeonghan exhaled the hurt from his body. Even if the words were mean, even if they made him sad, they needed to be said.

Their meetings grew scarce after the fact. His company advised him to lay low, and he had no objection. Seungcheol would stop by every couple of weeks, usually drunk. Always whispering sweet nothings in his ears, promises of being happy together, away from all the drama and media as they spent those nights tangled with each other, loving one another; promising that he’d fight for them. Tears would fall by the end of the night as the older would press kisses against the other actor’s shoulder.

And for a moment, he felt like he was flying, only for Seungcheol to take back the wings he gave him the next morning and watch him fall once again. Covering up his vulnerability and blaming his drunken state even though they both know he says nothing but the truth when drunk.

The moments they have together always make him want to take the tears he shed back because in the end, it is meant to end. 

Staring at the scattered glasses and scuff marks in his apartment, he recounted for the events that played out less than twenty-four hours ago.

When the party rolled around the corner, he had absolutely no expectations for himself to enjoy.

Imagine his surprise when his love walked through his front door unexpectedly.

“This night is yours.” Wonwoo said over the loud music, making him face his friend.

“And we wanted to make sure, that you felt like it was yours.” Jisoo pried his hand open from the fist he didn’t know he was making, and shoved a glass of scotch between them. “Now go. Feel something.”

Because only Jisoo knew that the numbness went away, when the person who had his heart was there.

The holder of his heart, nodded his head towards the bedroom, taking him less than a second to follow, placing the untouched alcohol on the counter.

Almost running to his room, he all but slams the door closed attaching himself to the one person he wasn’t allowed to be with. But he didn’t care. Like his friends said, tonight was his night, and he should be able to feel all the emotions he wanted to feel.

Seungcheol was receptive, more so than ever. The minute they connected, he had lifted Jeonghan off his feet, wrapping the younger’s legs around his own waist, pressing him into the door as he kissed him. Emotions and senses reigniting him, he felt everything.

His lungs were on fire as he inhaled his cologne; it meant that he wasn’t dreaming, that he was here at that moment. Jeonghan’s mind wasn’t deluding himself.

He heard the moan he hasn’t heard in so long, ring in his ears, letting himself know that he wasn’t the only one who wanted this to happen as well.

When they separated for air, his eyes fluttered open, both of their eyes traveling a mile a minute as if they were trying to memorize each other’s face; they knew this might be the last time they’d be this close ever again.

Then the taste of his lips engulfed his mind once more as Seungcheol reconnected their lips, their tongues slide together and the slightest taste of peppermint from his own lip balm mixed with Seungcheol’s vanilla. That’s how he knew that what they were doing and what he felt, it meant something.

The way the older touched him told him everything. How he carried him to the bed and trailed his lips down his jaw to his neck. When his hands began unbuttoning his shirt and his fingers slid across his torso. He wanted to say that this meant he missed this; missed Jeonghan. He knew for sure when he felt the hot breath on his neck whisper it.

He felt it. He felt the vibrations from his voice on his skin, but he also felt it in his heart. Something Jeonghan forgets he has when the latter isn’t with him.

“I miss you so much.”

That’s how he knew. Because whatever hangover he had the next day, it wasn’t from alcohol. The movie star didn’t even have a sip alcohol. That was Seungcheol’s effect. He made him dance, sing, flip, and downright happy, he made Jeonghan drunk, without having anything but him in his system.

Removing his own shirt and jeans, Seungcheol climbed back on top of him, looking at Jeonghan like he was his whole entire world, “I love you.”

“And I love you.”

 

  ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“Jeonghan look over here!”

“Smile over here please!”

Doing as the photographers say, he waves and looks over his shoulder, giving them the pose they want with a show stopping smile to match.

It's premiere night and he was ready for the bombardment of interviews he’s about to go through. He prepared all the answers he knew they were going to ask, even the toughest ones.

Following the security, he led him off the red carpet, to where a bunch of news reporters waited.

“Yoon Jeonghan! How does it feel to have such an anticipated movie?”

“It’s unreal, the support people have given me is amazing so thank you guys, but it couldn’t have been done without the rest of the cast and the crew, they all deserve the love, if not, even more.”

“I know your company released a statement awhile back but you laid low for it. We know you went back to your mom to spend time with her. But what really went down between you and Choi Seungcheol?”

Looking down the red carpet, he sees Seungcheol’s arm around her waist. The diamond ring blinding him from that distance. There was that bitter taste in his mouth once again.

“What do you think about the rumors that spread?”

Composing himself, he turned back to the interviewer. “They were ridiculous. People shouldn’t take our friendship too far, they might have ruined it.” He gives a dry laugh, but on camera it was convincing. He is an actor after all. “There is absolutely nothing going on between us. He has Im Nayoung, a beautiful woman, amazing inside and out, so whatever rumors, just end them. Don’t hurt her or him anymore.”

“What about all the hate you’ve been getting? Do you think it’ll effect anything?”

Silly interviewer. He’s been numb for too long now. Nothing he reads on the screen can hurt him as much as Seungcheol has hurt him.

“Call me gay, call me slurs but at the end of the day, the show must go on.” Through the corner of his eye he saw the couple strutting down the red carpet, drawing closer to him. So like the south side magnet facing another south side, he feels himself walking further way, time slowly ticking with every step.

His façade must go on.

Even if he’s sad on the inside, even if Seungcheol was hurting him, Seungcheol had to be free from him; he needed to be himself.

It is a sad ending for him.

But the show must go on.

_‘You must go on.’_

**Author's Note:**

> After I heard the song I got inspired. Sorry for the sad ending though! I hope it was good! Sorry for any mistakes, I spent a good four hours writing this nonstop because it felt right.


End file.
